Memories Of A Prisoner
by AdFinemAdInfinitum
Summary: There was one good thing about Azkaban. And a million good things about his life. They could try, actually they certainly would. But they could not beat him down. SB/MM- one-shot - R


**A/N: Starting this it was obvious to me that I could not possibly come up with a happy end. **

**In a twisted way though, my happy-end mania kicked in and I think I managed something like it.**

**This is about the ****'I never' Challenge****. **

**Please read and review. **

**It would mean a lot. **

**This is a one-shot. **

**I do not own it.**

**Enjoy!**

**MEMORIES**** Of A PRISONER**

There was one good thing about Azkaban, Sirius reasoned.

Sure as hell, it had a million of drawbacks to be imprisoned. Like, let's say the awful cells, the screaming prisoners, the rotten food, the rats-

His train of thought was interrupted by a passing Dementor. The disgusting creature turned his way, stared at him with his faceless hood and after it had given him a good deal of bad memories, left soundlessly.

He shook the images of dead friends from his head to return to his initial point, that, there was one good thing about that place.

And that was that ironically enough he had tons of free time to think of stuff.

Of stuff he had, without wanting to, forgotten due to the recent, painful event of James and Lily's death.

He spent six out of seven days a week mentally committing suicide for letting things happen the way they had. He swore and cursed that coward friend of his, true. But he was also blaming himself. For he had not protected them well enough.

However that one day that remained, cause funny thing about being caged up, you always find yourself with some free time to spare. Well, by the end of the week he usually looked at his past, digging up memories.

That particular end of the week his mind was set on her.

Marlene McKinnon.

Her face was still imprinted in his head. Pretty, clever, blue eyes, well-shaped cheekbones and the best chin he had seen in a human. Blond hair floating behind her.

She used to call him 'Siri', because she said it made him sound just as stupid as he was.

She had tricked him into eating a puke flavored bean in first year.

She had practically ordered him to leave his 'freaking home' in sixth year and go live with the Potters, cause 'honestly she was going to go and personally punch that mother of his if she sent another Howler.' .

And she had kissed him before his first mission for the Order with the excuse that 'he needed something to wake him up, otherwise the he'd be drinking tea with Voldemort by the end of the day.'.

He tried not to laugh at the thought.

But of course all those things he did not need effort to remember.

In a way, just as he mourned for James and Lily, he mourned for her too. She was forever in his heart.

Still there were details he needed to process.

So at that particular day he had remembered that one time with her.

That time when she had saved his life.

"_Black I swear if you don't move your arse I'm gonna kill you before the Death Eaters arrive." Her voice sounded strong even when she was hissing. _

_He pulled his hood lower to hide his whole face and run behind her in the empty path. Steps were heard somewhere behind them. _

"_Coming." He called back at her slim figure. A strand of blond hair had escaped her bun and were flying with the wind as she paced._

"_So are they." She managed to mumble with a breathless tone. _

_Suddenly a curse lighted their path. A red light missed Sirius for inches and he swore under his breath. _

_They were close. _

_He tried to think fast as more curses fell upon them. _

_He didn't get the chance. _

_A well-aimed, though he hated to admit it, Body-binding spell hit him at the back of his head, landing him on the cold, stoned street. _

"_Sirius! Oh, bollocks." The last thing he heard before passing out was Marlene's stressed out voice calling him. With the certain disregard for danger he had, the only thing he felt upon waking up was satisfaction, cause for once I her life she had called him Sirius. And on top of that with this concerned tone of hers. _

_Opening his eyes he realized he had been taken captive. He wondered for second how unlucky he was that they hadn't just killed him, but instead taken him to be interrogated. Then he remembered she was not so far ahead of him. _

_Looking around he noted, to his great disdain, that she had been caught too. _

_While he was being carried by two tall hooded men, she was in the arms of that stinking Goyle who was trying to touch her in a way that would have made Sirius in all his Gryffindor chivalry Avada him on the spot. Had he not been body-bound of course. _

_Marlene, for her part was struggling to free herself. She was kicking him and trying to pull his hair out. For a moment Goyle let his guard down and she managed him a good blow in the gut. _

_Smiling inwardly Sirius watched as the man fell backwards releasing her. She, reacting perfectly, stole his wand and Disapparated before the rest of the Death Eaters could say 'Voldemort'. _

_Such was his joy that it took him a well ten minutes before realizing he was not free. She had been saved, sure, but he was now left alone to go 'drink tea with the Dark Lord'. _

_Having never faced __such a bad situation alone Sirius finally began feeling fear. _

_His blood froze in his veins and his hands became numb. He could feel sweat running down his forehead as the hooded men came to a halt. _

"_Bring him in." The ever so cold voice of Bellatrix sounded. _

"_Long time no see, Bella." He muttered darkly when they came face to face. _

_She only spat some insults about him being 'a disgrace to the name of Black' and ordered Goyle to throw him to a dungeon. _

_He stayed into the dungeon for a long time, when two people grabbed by the shoulders and threw him out of it. _

_He contemplated for a moment whether it would be ay different if he was killed in or out of that filthy hole. He figured that it'd be better outside the dungeon. At least he wouldn't have to smell decomposing flesh when he died. _

"_Well, well, what have we here?" The shiver-producing voice of none other than Voldemort echoed around the room. _

"_You look quite awful, snake-face. Didn't sleep well last night?" The black-haired Marauder decided he wasn't going to let them enjoy this anymore than he did. No matter how scared he was, that was between him and himself. No one else had to know. _

_He made a spastic move to take some hair out of his face. He was suddenly glad that he was tied with ropes when he came out of the dungeon. That way his shaking wouldn't show._

"_Laugh all you like now Black. Soon you'll be begging me to stop." Said Voldemort. Sirius didn't feel like doubting his words at the moment. _

"_I'd like to see you try." The prisoner dared, his eyes flashing with courage, though he hardly felt it. All he knew was that he wanted to puke. _

_He made a promise to himself that if he really did empty the contents of his stomach he'd do it on Voldemort's shoes. _

_At least that's what Marlene would have done. He thought bitterly, recalling how she had abandoned him without a moment's hesitation. _

"_You surely will. Crucio!" Before he could move Sirius felt a thousand knives stabbing him. He clenched his teeth and fell backwards. His whole body was seizuring, but it wasn't from fear this time. It was from pain. _

_Again and again Sirius found himself wishing to be dead. But his wish was not granted. Instead mocking voice were hurling in his mind, the only place torturing curses couldn't touch. _

_Those people were good at this he considered before losing all coherent thought._

"_He's not responding. Bella go bring me some Veritaserum." The Dark Lord instructed coldly. _

_Listening to his cousin's footsteps descending the black-haired man closed his eyes. He had no idea how resist truth potions. If he was made to drink it he'd have to tell the truth or die. Or maybe both. _

"_My Lord," A male voice called from the doorstep. Some heads, including Voldemort's were turned towards Goyle who had just arrived. _

"_We caught the second one." An internal pain covered Sirius. She hadn't escaped after all. Now the same fate awaited her. _

_He tried to think of something to do but nothing came to mind. He cursed his stupidity. If James had been here and Lily was in danger he'd surely be able to save her. _

_But he couldn't do anything for Marlene, despite the fact that his feelings for her were not half-hearted in the least. _

"_Where is she? Bring her here." Siruis begged the gods for help. However no reply came. _

"_Rowle is brining her. I'll just take that one back to the dungeon." Said Goyle, disgustedly. Now whether that was because of Sirius or the dirty dungeons one could not tell._

_Goyle took him by the arm and dragged him out of the room._

"_But I thought the dungeon was that way-" Although the Marauder hadn't spent much time in the place and had dedicated only a tiny proportion of that time to noticing his whereabouts, he vaguely knew the dungeons were not the way he was being dragged towards. _

_A meaningful look from Goyle shut him up. Not because Sirius understood, but rather because he couldn't believe Goyle could have a meaningful look on his face. _

_Slowly the enemy pushed him out of the old house using fewer and fewer of his strength. _

_Sirius could swear the Death Eater was becoming weaker by the second. _

_Still he could not turn around to look at him properly. So he could only guess._

"_Where are we going?" He asked after they had entered a forest. _

"_Somewhere nice and quiet to kill you." The Marauder nodded at that. Finally something that made sense about that idiot. _

_When they were deep into the forest and Sirius had forgotten all about getting killed did the Death Eater stop walking. _

_When he turned around to face the black-haired nineteen-year-old man, Goyle had blond hair, blue eyes and a smirk over his perfect chin. _

"_Marlene?" Shrieked Sirius, not even caring he sounded like a girl._

"_No shit, genius!" She extended a hand for him to grab and stand up. He obliged but failed to use his feet. _

_Promptly he fell to the rocky ground dragging her with him. _

"_Sorry. They just won't work." He apologized solemnly unlike himself. _

"_Merlin, I totally forgot you had been tortured in there." Her face got paler and with a delicate set of fingers she massaged his hurt shoulder. _

_He felt more pain than comfort with that move of hers, but such was his joy when he considered what that signified that he said nothing to stop her._

"_How did you get there?" He asked when they were both at a safe place. _

"_Remember when I escaped from that jerk Goyle" He nodded his medium length hair moving around his head. _

"_I managed to pull out a strand of hair from him. Dumbledore made a Polyjuice potion in zero time and I practically forced him to let me drink it." Had the light not been dim Sirius would have easily seen her blush. _

"_Wow! That's-" He felt at a loss for words. She was braver than he could ever be. And smarter too. Somehow he felt he didn't deserve being saved by her._

"_-Well-planned." He finished his sentence, rather rigid by that point to be able to sound more enthusiastic. _

_Apparently she had noticed because she pulled him into a tight hug and messed his black-hair._

"_You thought I'd left you there? Idiot, Siri. I'd never do that. You're my partner." He smiled in her hair and hugged her back with his bruised arms. But at the sound of the word 'partner' he pulled back, a pout in his face. _

"_Partner?" He mused, childishly. She eyed him curiously._

"_Well-planned?" She retorted. _

_Soon they were both clutching their sides and laughing loudly. _

_She didn't care to look funny when she laughed, he noticed happily. Her eyes were sparkling and it was easier to look at her perfect chin and neck when she pulled her hair back. _

_In a moment of very lapse judgment he leaned forward, caught her waist and brought her closer to him. Staring in her eyes, then her full lips, he kissed her passionately, like only he could. _

_To his immense surprise she didn't hex him for that. _

_Instead she sank her fingers in his hair and kissed back eagerly. _

_He tasted her, letting himself loosen up. She had an inner strength he had seen before, but at that moment he was feeling it in his veins. He was feeling her everywhere inside of him. _

_And all the images of the Dark Lord and the events earlier that day were soon forgotten. _

_Or maybe not quite so. _

_The next morning as they returned to the Order Headquarters she asked with a smirk. _

"_So had fun with Voldy?" He sent her a scolding look._

"_He didn't offer tea. However a truth potion was suggested." He said trivially but failed to stay serious after hearing her melodic laughter so close to him. _

"_You're a good deal, Siri." She mumbled against his lips and he felt pride inside of him. In his youth he hadn't heard words of praise often. _

"_I'm the best." He kissed her and said. _

"_We'll see." _

They didn't see.

Now Sirius knew, they would never have a chance to see. He never got the chance to prove her that he was the best and she never got the chance to say it.

When he was holding her in his arms, his tears cleaning her bloody clothes, all she had time to say was 'Hell she always forgot to say that.' He hadn't been able to stop kissing her forehead to ask what it was she kept forgetting.

With her final breath she had admitted it though.

"I love you Sirius. For saving me I love you."

He didn't remember ever saving her, but those words were never meant to leave his memory.

Little trivial days of his past often escaped his mind.

However in that filthy prison he was in he never forgot the essence of things.

That he had received true love from _so many_ people that, Death Eaters, Dementors, even Voldemort himself, could not even dream of beating him.

No matter what, he would free himself and even in death he'd be happier than they could ever be in a life with prosperity, money and power.

Despite the awful way things had happened, he had so much goodness in him that if love were light the whole of Azkaban would become one big sun.

**A/N: I honestly hope I didn't depress you too much. I wanted it to have at least some positive meaning in the end. **

**Personally I hate bad-end stories so I'd understand it if you don't like this much. **

**But I promise I'll do my best to prevent this from happening again.**

**Still, please leave a review for me, even it is to scold me for the extra-angsty story.**

**Kisses and Hugs**

**Sarah**


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